What day is it today?

Oh yeah, it's 1/28 today.  Was it really just last weekend that I wrote that last entry?

Well, the State of My Home has recovered from last week's "depression," but I remain skeptical.  However, I'm not sure if it's entirely skepticism or this subconscious resistance to positive change.   The State of My Mind remains...?  Confused.  Cynical.  Angry.  Sad.  Hurt. Pretty much anything short of average.

My friends would say that I don't have it so bad, but I believe in the following, "No one has walked a day in your shoes."  It's not so much that I hate my wife, I don't.  It's just that something "broke" inside my husband persona.  I can't find myself to trust or love her like I used to.  Perhaps that may melt away, but I will then question the authenticity and search my soul should it happen.

I don't wish to remain in this limbo.  My wife and I will begin marriage counseling soon.  We'll see how far that takes us.  Right now, there are forces beyond my immediate control that keeps us together.  Question is, is it the "dark side" or...something else?

"Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." ~ C.

Eternity

In just one week, the stage changes again.

     In life, the blink of an eye holds an eternity.

Your heart will turn.
Your mind will turn.
Your soul will die once again.

Ergo, life is, in fact, too long.

The Irony Strikes Back

Still...puzzled    ...just had a pretty nice and normal day with my wife     ...in FOREVER     ...it was peaceful    ...and joyful        hopeful          humane           secure           reassuring            natural           ...and it just


SUCKS !!!  W T F !?!?!?!?




 w h y  i s  l i f e  n e v e r  o n  m y  t e r m s ?

Thoughts on marriage

There’s really no right answer to the marriage question.  Some people are meant to get married; some are not.  However, I think the best way to describe marriage is that it’s a very strict and challenging institution to succeed in.  You can take two very good people and STILL have a failed marriage.

Marriage isn’t the culprit though.  It’s really just not a natural arrangement for us ever-changing, sometimes prideful, sometimes selfish, sometimes unapologetic, and sinful human beings.  Not only do you have to tackle your own issues, but you also have to spend lots of time compromising and tackling your partner’s issues, all the while having a career and “new human beings” (children) to teach, care for, and raise.  Does that sound like fun…AT ALL?


No, I’m not knocking marriage.  Like I said once, there are people who excel in being both a spouse AND a parent. It’s just that marriage is not for most people as evident in the number of divorces there are.  Sure, there are several other reasons why divorce happens, but in a world with so many ambitious endeavors and selfish pursuits, a failed marriage will always be more common than not.

It's 2010! ...or simply "2009 + 2 days"

Happy New Year's everyone.  Do you feel any different?  I always find it amusing to see how folks act shortly after the strike of midnight.  It's as if they magically become an entirely different (and better) person...AS IF just two (or a few more) seconds ago you were unable to BE a better person.  This moment must be the most powerful and most "administered" placebo in the entire free world.  Alas, this cosmic transformational effect only lasts a few days, and those folks quickly again become the "losers" they once were only a mere week ago.

It's a great reminder that a "new year" is one 365-day process.  Give yourself time to fail in case it happens.  More importantly, FORgive yourself if you fail, because persistence is key.  The goal will remain - if necessary, until the following year.

All the very best in commitment, dedication, and prosperity to your resolutions.

"I hear and I forget.  I see and I remember.  I do and I understand." ~ C.