Am I back?

I must say...for as long as I've been away, it feels as if I never left.  I suppose one never stops ruminating and reflecting.  I just haven't been putting pen to paper.  Leisure is scarce these days.  Energy is scarce.  Eye fatigue is perpetual.

At this very moment, our society is dealing with the Coronavirus, Asian giant hornets, and protests/destruction over yet another incident of police brutality against the African American community.  These things may or may not pass.  They may exist in flux, never to go away.  Control is not the issue here.  Even if you don't step on dog shit, it's still out there.

Fast forward almost 3 years to date (6.1.23) from the last time I wrote in here...

Coronavirus is not causing health officials to implement safety measures in society, so things are pretty much back to normal.  It's been about 2 weeks since Amazon started to expect employees back in the office at least 3 days per week.

Human Exploration

My life changes when I get to really know someone. My own world expands. Forget space as the final frontier. The random person sitting next to you on the subway is a subject I’m referring to here. The anonymous person you email from an online ad is another. A stranger is one such uncharted frontier. I’m an introvert in public, so I don’t believe it’s appropriate to ask that person sitting next to you a series of personal questions. However, when you ever find yourself engaged in some form of dialogue, offer undivided attention. Ordinary people are fascinating.

One’s trust is a gift, so we should be so flattered to hear someone sharing an intimate story. I have a handful of dudes that I call my “brothers.” Each bond was born in different social circles and from unrelated circumstances and yet each bond thrives on the occasional conversation over beer or coffee. I know these guys very well, but it’s always a trip to catch up on what’s going on in their respective worlds.

When you have a family, your social circles tend to involve other families. Talk about drab and predictable. For those parents out there, you know why - almost every other topic is about the children. Whoever said that a parent’s life ceases to matter or deserve focus and attention once children join the household? Obviously, children are a priority, but I believe some parents have abandoned themselves, their inspirations, their desires, and their well-being. I digress, but my point is that parents should be encouraged to meet new people that aren’t parents. To lose one’s identity as an individual is just tragic. (I may devote a blog entry on this topic of neglected parents at a later date, so stay tuned.)

Engage someone new today, however brief, and may you be moved by the experience. It certainly doesn’t have to involve a commitment or anything, but if there’s a connection, you just discovered a whole new world.

Was it all a dream?

Where have I been? I’m not even sure myself. I do know that I’m now back in Seattle as I am once again surrounded by natural beauty in the form of mountains, lakes, trees…and more trees.


I know I still don’t have any readers (except me), but I hope to start up my blog again.  Why?  Because I need to find inspiration somewhere.  Even writing to myself satiates my need to create.  I continue to lament not having good opportunities to play drums in a group.  I miss it sorely.  I am now compelled to simply imagine playing the drums when listening to music.  (I hold concerts to sell-out crowds in my head.)  Oh Music, how I still love thee.  As estranged as I felt towards you, Music, in both collaboration and listening, I eventually realized it wasn’t your fault that I had to hang up my sticks.  I need you too much for healing and sustenance.

Oh, I now have two boys (a child is cheaper to buy…er, bear in Toledo).  How foolish was I to think that time and energy were scarce before with just one child!  Parents with children do not risk sleeping away their lives.  Guaranteed “me-time” only exists when I shower and commute, with the latter only being occasionally.

So what happened in Toledo?  In hindsight, it was a great experience.  It certainly didn’t feel like that when I lived there.  Shoot, I couldn’t stop cursing the place, the drivers, the crappy cell reception.  However, I did meet some wonderful people that I continue to stay in touch with. Good relationships with good people are tough to find no matter where you live.

Instead of dumping all my Toledo stories into this one blob entry, I will gradually share them as they come to relevance per blog entry.  That I even managed to conjure up one today is a miracle in and of itself.


Happy 2013 to all my readers.

Ohio Gozaimasu, Ohio!

It's more than official now.  I'm actually getting ready to relocate to Perrysburg, OH for a wonderful job at a wonderful company.  I still have some concerns and anxiety with moving there and all, but the anticipation is slowly growing.  This is not only my first relocation/move, but it's also the furthest I've ever moved.  I've only lived on the West Coast.  Ohio is a bit further East than I ever imagined.

Nevertheless, this event will be a new chapter in my life.  I've often feared that my lifetime would only exist in Seattle.  Well, here's my chance to live "somewhere else."  Granted, I had more beautiful places in mind, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.  My career absolutely begs for this opportunity.  To not accept it with the compensation they're offering would be missing out on a chance of a lifetime.

I anticipate doing more blogging once I'm there.  I'll have more time on my hands, that's for sure.  I may not have any readers still, but it does feel good to jot my thoughts down.

I hope you are all doing well.

"No matter how busy you may think you are, you must find time for reading, or surrender yourself to self-chosen ignorance."   ~ C.

Holy Toledo

It's simply surreal.  In a few days, I'll be getting an offer from a wonderful company located in Toledo, OH.  Not only have I never lived anywhere else besides Seattle and LA, but I've also never really been out East.  Barring a pathetic offer, I will be relocating there in the very near future.  As far as how and when everything and everyone else will work out, I suppose time will only tell.

Odd how only just a year ago I was planning on staying at Intermec for the long haul.  Life does change at the blink of an eye.  Of course, it can also drag on like a snail, but when it comes to changes...you gotta be ready to react.

Well, if this move truly does happen, then I suppose the next chapter will be a BIG page-turner.  Shoot, it may as well be a new volume.  Wow...I wonder just how much I'll end up missing Seattle and everyone here if I leave.

Considering how I'll be more alone, I think I'll be blogging more often if I end up in there.  Too bad no one's reading my blogs.  I may end up feeling more lonely.

Bitterness Is Not Just A Taste

I press on.  In an earlier post, I talked about the fragility of life's status quo.  One second, and everything can change.  Usually, we never see it coming.  Sadly, the change is usually something unpleasant.  Honestly, do you know anyone who has ever won the lottery?


You can only take so many punches in the gut, so many backhands to the face, before you start to hate life and all the surprises it throws at you.  I, for one, have not been in the best shape to absorb such blows in the past year or so.  As a result, I've become callous and bitter.  I hate life, because it betrays you like your so-called buddy in college who runs off with your date before you've had a chance to even say 'goodbye.'  Life is already hard.   I don't expect much, and yet I'm disappointed.

I'm left to pick up the pieces of shattered glass to make a new vase.  I never quite get close to a vase, so I settle for pretty pieces of glass instead.  Is that the point then:  to learn from mistakes, to appreciate what you do have, and to accept that life is random, unfair, and irrational?

"Gift," my ass...

QUOTE:
By three methods we may learn wisdom; first, by reflection, which is most noble; second, by imitation, which is most easy; and third, by experience, which is the most bitter.
~ Confucius

"Whatever Works"

I loved that movie.  It really does comfort me to know that my thoughts aren't so unique and rare.  Misery does love company, but cynicism depends on it.  You're not cynical unless you are surrounded by non-cynical folks.  On the freeway, you can't say you're going too fast unless there are slow drivers around.

Well, I continue to wear my "boxing gloves" around home.  I'm just waiting for the next round to start.  My wife seems to have figured it out, so she has ceased to push my limits.  However, I've become familiar with the gloves being on.  I don't trust her, this marriage, or the future to not bring hell and fury back into my life.

I've been scarred, and scars don't heal.  I will forever keep one foot out the door to keep me happy.

In case you've been wondering why I haven't been posting Confucius quotes it's because they don't apply to my blogs any longer.  My blog has now become an outlet for me to vent my disdain for this insanity we call "life."  I know I should change the title of this blog, but perhaps my rantings might create "confucous" wisdom by proxy?  You know, learn from my mistakes and experiences?  My blog, my rules.  (I know, I still don't have any followers, but in my head there are millions.)

Whatever works, right?